I recently attended a parenting seminar.
There - I said it. I'm one of THOSE parents. Yes, the kind of parent for whom the crazy, off-the-cuff, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants nature of parenting doesn't sit well. I need structure. I need to know I'm doing an OK job. I need rules. So I read books and I seek out advice and I go to parenting lectures.
Last year, while on mat leave, I picked up the book Breaking the Good Mom Myth from the library and I liked it so much I bought the author's next book Honey I Wrecked The Kids. Then, a few weeks ago, when I found out the author was hosting a speaking engagement for one of her compatriots, I bought my $10 ticket and made a night of it.
It's a sad reflection on my social life to say that I had a great time and it was not only informative but entertaining, but there you have it.
The best part of the night, in fact, came during the Q&A section. One parent had asked about how to deal with your kid when they demand something and you say no - her example was when you're at the mall trying to run errands and the kid flips out because you deny them a much desired ice cream. After the speaker gave her answer - the usual spiel about standing your ground and not giving in, blah, blah, blah - a woman popped up from the middle of the room.
"But, sometimes I DO want to buy ice cream. How do I deal with that?" she asked.
I was so relieved there was someone out there like me. The parent who doesn't quite feel grown up. The parent who sometimes wants ice cream and who - despite needing them desperately, out of exhaustion and frustration and oh-your-God-just-be-quietness - sometimes flouts the rules.
When you're a kid your parents seem to have it so together - they pay the bills, they make the rules. And yet here I am paying the bills, making the rules and half the time I don't really feel like a grown up. You mean, I'M the mom? When did that happen?
I always assumed that because I saw them as adults my parents felt like adults. But maybe they didn't feel any differently than I do now - a grown up teenager somehow faking their way through adulthood. This coming from someone who is supposed to be guiding another human being through life. What an utterly terrifying thought.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Wait - I'M the Mommy?
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2 comments:
Just keep a copy of Dr. Spock handy and forget the rest!
My mom still has her copy of Dr. Spock - I wonder if it's still usable or if it's too outdated now. It would be cool to follow a parenting guide where the pics inside show people wearing bell bottoms!
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